Dear Megan:
It is cliché to say that I cannot believe that your four years at Notre Dame have gone by so quickly, but it is true.
Like the main character in the Notre Dame film, ‘Rudy’, this journey has been an uphill battle since day one.
It started with you being placed on the waitlist.
Many times I have told your story of perseverance and tenacity to make yourself standout over the other 1,000 kids on the waitlist. You made a video full of 18 years of summers spent at Notre Dame. You and your mom drove to South Bend to meet with the admissions officer to show him your video and let him know how much you wanted to go to Notre Dame. (A story I am sure he had must heard at least 10,000 times before.) You enlisted a ground swell of support from our church and your high school to contact ND on your behalf to let them know what a great addition you would make to Notre Dame. I often think that Notre Dame offered you the first available spot just to keep you from calling them again to check your status.
I remember the day you called me at work to say that you had been accepted at Notre Dame. You were so euphoric, you had finally got your dream. I was so proud of you. Did it hurt when you called Michigan, ‘A nice backup school?’ Yes. But, you had spent just about every summer on the Notre Dame campus with your mom since you were less than one year old. Notre Dame was in your DNA. (see below)
However, this was not something that your mother and I had any experience with. Neither one of us had gone away to school. We had both worked our way through college. I didn’t finish until I was 33 years old. But, your mother had gotten her masters degree from Notre Dame, over five summers, so there was a lot of familiarity there.
I also remember thinking to myself, how are we going to pay for this? The answer was no vacations for fours years, no new cars for four years, your mother going to work full-time, your mother taking on facilitating weekend religious retreats for the Capuchins to bring in an additional $100 that could be converted into Domer Dollars for laundry or snacks. For me, it was more days eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at my desk that I care to remember. Not to mention trying to save for your sister who goes to college in two years. The lowest point was looking at a bank balance of $816 and waiting for the next paycheck that was still two weeks away.
I remember freshman orientation, three days of non-stop Notre Dame. (It was all I could do not to slip on my Michigan cap.) We met instructors, councilors, department heads, and other students. All very nice people. I think the start of the turning point for me was the orientation session with Sister Mary in the McGlinn Hall chapel. She told us that our daughters would be safe with her. There would be no monkey business under her watch. She would be monitoring every door, every window, and checking every room to make sure that nothing was going on that should not be going on. An iron fist inside of a velvet glove. She earned my instant respect.
Freshman Year: A year of turmoil and change. I watched you struggle, which was the hard. Struggle with roommates, struggle with grades, struggle with your breakup with your first real boyfriend, and struggle to feel that you were worthy of being at the college of your dreams. You made it through and I could already see the changes starting. You worked all summer to earn money to help offset the cost, which meant a lot to me.
Sophomore Year: A smother year, but it also featured your first solo visit out of the country. Exploring Paris on your own. (Scary stuff for parents.) Thankfully my company had an office in Paris and I could hook you up with a contact for emergencies. It helped that his daughter was your age and she graciously spent the day showing you around Paris. ‘The best day of your life’ I believe you said.
Junior Year: A year of separation. One of the main reasons you choose Notre Dame was the chance to study in France for a semester in the study abroad program. But once again, it was an uphill climb. You were waitlisted for the program in your sophomore year. Again, you made it off the waitlist into the program and you were selected to go to the big show: Paris. Then 48 hours after your arrival, terrorists attacked the Charlie Hebdo magazine. I watched on CNN as masked gunmen shot people on the streets of Paris, I was frantic in my mission to find you and make sure you were safe. The museum you were visiting at the time did not have cell service and I could not make contact. I have never felt so helpless in my whole life. Thankfully you were safe, but it was an unsettling event that stuck with me until the day you arrived home. You left in January and returned in July, seven months without seeing you. That was very hard no matter how many evenings I saw you on Facetime.
Senior Year: Another year of big adjustment. You had just spent the last eight months on your own in Europe and Ireland only to be put back into a lowly dorm room and back into the regular school structure. It must have felt like a step backwards. But, you got back to work and once again excelled.
I must say that I have never been on the Notre Dame campus and not been impressed. I have been there on a Friday night and the campus is quiet and the students are walking with a purpose. It is a very serious place and I respect that. I have been there on football Saturday and even thought I was wearing my Michigan cap, people were still nice to me. The people who run the Financial Aid Office are first-class, they helped us find additional funds when we were running short.
There is also a certain celebrity as a parent that comes with having your child go to Notre Dame. As if it validates our jobs as parents. If our child got into a college like Notre Dame, we must not have done a bad job as parents.
I am sorry that I had to say ‘no’ so many times over the last four years. Or, ‘We can’t afford that.’ I am sorry we did not have money for extra trips or things that may have made the experience richer.
On thing I am glad I did not say ‘No’ to was the purchase of Notre Dame season football tickets for you. Your mother and I spent many Saturdays watching the games on TV looking for you in the student section. You even learned about football! (Which is thrilling to a father to two daughters.) They must have taught you something at ND because you had the good common sense not to call and gloat when ND beat Michigan. (Although Michigan is still ahead in the overall rivalry 24-17-1)
Was it worth it? The simple answer is a resounding YES. Notre Dame was absolutely the best place for you. I realized that very quickly. You thrived there. You flourished there. I know you said it was harder that than you ever thought it could be, but you pulled it off. You did it. You have grown into a responsible, educated woman. I am so proud that we were able to provide this for you. But all we did was provide the funds. You did the work. You took the risks and persevered in the face of loneliness and self-doubt. You deserve all the glory.
This is culmination of years of preparation and hard work. We are proud of you. You are an impressive young woman and you have the whole world at your feet. Go out and shake up the world.
So, on May 15th I will proudly don my ‘ND Dad’ cap, in public, to watch you walk across that stage and accept your diploma. I am glad that the stage will be so far away from where we are sitting, because I am sure that I will get emotional when they call your name. This my little girl, who played with her Disney princess play sets and drove her mother crazy making her drive 50 miles to take riding lessons when we did not even own a horse, graduating from college.
My daughter will be a Notre Dame graduate. You will have your victory. It is fitting that the ceremony will be held in the football stadium. Instead of the vision of Rudy being carried off the field on the shoulders of his teammates to the chants of Rudy! Rudy! They should be hoisting you on their shoulders to the chant of Megan! Megan! Megan! Megan!
I love you Peanut. Happy Graduation.
Love, Dad
Congratulations on your graduation from Notre Dame! I don't know if Sara ever told you but she was born right up the street from there at Memorial Hospital, we lived in South Bend until she was 3. When she was in kindergarten we had to teach her she was a Hoosier because she told everyone she was an Indian. I was excited for you when I heard you were accepted at Notre Dame and have followed your college career through your mother's Facebook posts. You, Katie, and Sara have come such a long way from those days in the backseat of my minivan riding to dance at Casali's. I am proud of the accomplished young adults that you girls have grown into. I wish you many successes in your adult life and don't doubt that you will have them knowing how hard you work for them. With love and prayers, Deb Mounger
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